Karen Sandler

Tag: tankborn trilogy

  • 10 Must-Do’s for Manuscript Revision

    Awakening Final cover-sA little over a week ago, I turned in Book 3 of the Tankborn trilogy. A few weeks ago in this blog post, I gave tips on how to finish your novel, suggesting among other things to turn off your internal editor and just soldier through to the end. That there’s plenty of time for revision later.

    Well, once I’d finished Book 3, later became now. I had to switch gears from finish the darn thing to polish the darn thing. I finally had to open the door to that infernal, internal editor who’d been cooling her heels in my mental waiting room. It was time to let her inside to start picking things apart.

    In fact, revision is a good time to stuff your ego into that waiting room and let the Evil Blue Pencil Lady rip. Even the most beautiful prose may have to fall to her figurative ax if it has no place in the story.

    So what should your inner editor be looking for? Here are ten areas of focus, from simple and mechanical, to more complex developmental issues.

    1. Fix the typos. That may seem like the most obvious advice ever, but whether you’re planning to indie publish or submit to an editor for traditional publishing, nothing says Amateur more loudly than a typo-riddled manuscript. A reader of indie books might forgive one or two typos (as will an editor at a traditional house), they may never get past the Amazon sample if every other paragraph has a misspelled word or commas where they don’t belong. And if you’re thinking, My word processor will catch my misspellings, Word won’t flag everything, such as an improper use of there, their, or they’re. It takes your own eyeballs to catch that kind of problem.
    2. Watch for repeated words. Sometimes in the rush of writing your book, you don’t realize you’ve used the word shimmer three times in four paragraphs. Or monstrous. Or fantasy. These are just examples of very distinctive words that need to be used sparingly in a manuscript. You won’t always realize that you’ve overused words like this until you’re doing your revision read-through. You might not even spot them yourself, but your beta reader will. If you find you’ve used monstrous three times in one page (because there’s an enormous beast that must be described), it’s time to pull out the thesaurus. Or go to Reverse Dictionary to find alternate words (such as grotesque, unnatural, and colossal).
    3. Double check word choice. Are you using effect when you meant to use affect? Tankborn smlRavenous when you meant to use rapacious? Sometimes our brains play tricks on us in the heat of writing that first draft and we type a word that’s somewhat similar to another that we meant to type. Or there might be a word you thought meant one thing that actually means another. So make sure you’ve chosen the right word for the right situation.
    4. Clear out the redundancies. Since Book 3 is part of a trilogy, I felt the need to occasionally catch up the reader on what happened before. As I read through the book I realized I was overdoing it on the catch-up. I didn’t need to mention four times that GENs could be reset and have their personalities wiped away. Once, maybe twice, was enough. Even if your book isn’t part of a trilogy, you might need to remind a reader of a plot point, but be cautious of being repetitious. Delete those redundancies.
    5. Chuck out your pet weaknesses. What do I mean by pet weaknesses? Just about every writer has a favorite word, type of punctuation, idiomatic expression, or writing device. Sometimes it’s part of their voice, but sometimes it’s just plain habit. For me, it’s the em dash (those long dashes that can break a sentence to insert a separate thought) and its kissing cousin, the ellipse. (…) I allow myself to em dash and ellipse with abandon as I write the draft, then I go back and ruthlessly cut them back. You’ll find a few in the final book, but far fewer than I’d written originally. Make sure you’re not overdoing those pet weaknesses.
    6. Eliminate the ambiguities. If you get confused at your own prose as you’re reading through (What the heck did I mean by that?), obviously you need to fix and clarify. But sometimes you won’t realize that something in a scene is ambiguous because of all that background you’ve got tucked away in your brain. This is where a beta reader is invaluable, because they won’t have the answers in their head the way you do. They will find the ambiguities. For example, if you wrote, Jenna and LaShonda walked into the room, and she picked up her sword, you’ll know it was LaShonda wielding the sword. But the sentence is ambiguous enough that your beta reader might not figure that out with the sentence written that way. Make sure you’re crystal clear.
    7. Delete the extraneous. Sometimes when you’re going with the flow writing that first draft, you’ll write a scene that just seems right. Once you’ve finished the book and you’re reading through, you’ll realize that scene never goes anywhere. It doesn’t move the story forward, doesn’t reveal any new important information to the reader, doesn’t add context to the characters or setting. That scene has to go. If there happens to be one little bit of information in it that is useful, you can place that elsewhere. You’re not allowed to leave it in the book just because you like it.
    8. Pay attention to continuity. Have you ever watched a TV show and in one shot the character’s wine glass is full, then in the next it’s half-full, then it’s full again in the next shot? Someone didn’t pay attention to continuity in that scene. In the case of Book 3 of the Tankborn trilogy, I have a scene early on where the characters have to show their ID to the authorities. Later when my characters encounter the authorities again, I’d forgotten about that entirely. During the revision, I had to put that ID-check into the later scene for continuity’s sake. If you set something up early on in your book, you have to be consistent later.
    9. Make sure your scenes are in the right order. In general, a book should get more and more exciting from beginning to end. The perils should increase, the revelations should be more and more monumental. You should make sure you have “rising action” from start to finish. If you find that a scene that should be closer to your climax appears too early, switch your scenes around. Don’t be afraid to juggle as needed.
    10. Answer all story questions. The worst thing you can do is have a reader finish your book and say, “But, but, but…what about that blue horse?” If you had a blue horse on page 134, you’d better “pay off,” i.e., make clear why that blue horse was there, by the end of the book. Never leave the reader hanging, wondering what the heck a particular scene had to do with the story. In fact if there doesn’t seem to be a way to pay a scene off, see number 7 above.

    There you go, 10 guidelines for revision. Are there any you think I missed? What do you watch out for during your revision process?

  • Happy Book Birthday!

    Sometimes the passage of time between when a book is contracted and when it’s finally launched into the brave new world seems like forever. But finally it’s the official release day for Tu Books’ spring 2013 releases. The first one is mine, the second by fellow Tu Books author Shana Mlawski.

    Awakening Final cover-s

    Awakening by Karen Sandler, Book 2 of the Tankborn trilogy

    Once a Chadi sector GEN girl terrified of her first Assignment, Kayla is now a member of the Kinship, a secret organization of GENs, lowborns, and trueborns. Kayla travels on Kinship business, collecting information to further the cause of GEN freedom.

    Despite Kayla’s relative freedom, she is still a slave to the trueborn ruling class. She rarely sees trueborn Devak, and any relationship between them is still strictly forbidden.

    Kayla longs to be truly free, but other priorities have gotten in the way. A paradoxically deadly new virus has swept through GEN sectors—a disease only GENs catch. And GEN warrens and warehouses are being bombed, with only a scrawled clue: F.H.E. Freedom, Humanity, Equality.

    With the virus and the bombings decimating the GEN community, freedom and love are put on the back burner as Kayla and her friends find a way to stop the killing . . . before it’s too late.

    Hammer of Witches by Shana Mlawski

    Baltasar Infante, a bookmaker’s apprentice living in 1492 Spain, can weasel out of any problem with a good story. But when he awakes one night to find a monster straight out of the stories peering at him through his window, he’s in trouble that even he can’t talk his way out of.

    Soon Baltasar is captured by a mysterious arm of the Spanish Inquisition, the Malleus Maleficarum, that demands he reveal the whereabouts of Amir al-Katib, a legendary Moorish sorcerer who can bring myths and the creatures within them to life. Baltasar doesn’t know where the man is—or that he himself has the power to summon genies and golems.

    Baltasar must escape, find al-Katib, and defeat a dreadful power that may destroy the world. As Baltasar’s journey takes him into uncharted lands on Columbus’s voyage westward, he learns that stories are more powerful than he once believed them to be—and much more dangerous.

    I hope you’ll check them both out!

  • Give Your Story Its Head? Or Keep it on a Tight Rein?

    PEC 9-26-10I am a horse person. Maybe better to say I am horse-obsessed. If I’m fast-forwarding past the commercials in a DVRed TV show, I’ll hit pause if I see a horse (gotta love those Budweiser Clydesdales). When I’m out driving in our semi-rural area, my gaze will rove over the surrounding pastures, admiring the bays and appys and chestnuts and grays (those are horse colors for the uninformed) ambling about. I’ll walk up to total strangers in the supermarket and strike up a conversation if they’re wearing chaps and boots.

    I ride my Andalusian/Morgan mare 3-4 days a week, mainly in the arena. Although she’s a nice horse on the trail, mostly I do dressage with her. That’s one of those equestrian disciplines that’s fascinating for its participants and dead boring for everyone else. A horsie friend’s hubby has a T-shirt that says, “Whoever said life is too short has never watched dressage.”

    When riding dressage, the movements are pretty controlled on the part of rider and horse. The horse has to be very attentive to the rider, to pay attention to each request made of her and be ready to segue into the next.

    On the trail, on the other hand, I ride my horse on a loose rein, let her take a gander at the countryside, admire the view, maybe snatch a little mouthful of grass. She should still pay attention to me (I’m not letting her march me through the poison oak, no way no how), but it’s supposed to be more relaxing for horse and rider. Plus, if she smells a mountain lion and takes off running, I’m gonna let her take the lead.

    Char SketchSo, what about your writing? How do you approach it? Do you keep it on a tight rein? Do you pin down every little detail about your characters, the plot, every turning point, dark moment, what and where the climax will be?

    Or do you just sit and start writing, pages and pages of stuff in some sort of free form way? Characters popping up as you go, the story revealed to you just as it will be revealed to the reader (mega-bestselling author Lee Child said he does it that way).

    Which way should it be? To some extent, I think it depends on the writer. I personally like some of that dressage-like preparation. It also depends on what you’re writing–a first draft? Go ahead and gallop down that trail if that works for you. A final draft? Mmm, maybe you need to get a better grip on the reins. Do you know who all your important characters are? Do you know what their goals and motivations are? Do all those great scenes that spilled out have a place in your story? Do you have a lot of repeated word usage, or overused imagery that you need to change or cut out?

    If so, it’s time to tighten those reins a bit. All that freedom to do what you want has to be traded in for the discipline of the rewrite. You’re doing arena work now, keeping focused on what the manuscript needs you to do, improving each paragraph the way a dressage horse improves the beauty of each move it makes.

    Gal canterSome people don’t want the restraint on their freedom. They want to just keep running headlong through their manuscript. They chafe at feedback that suggests change. Well, if you never want to publish a book that someone will want to buy, write it anyway you like. But just like me letting my mare trot sloppily into the show ring, you’ll never get the blue ribbon, or a book sale, that way.

    So use the beauty of your creativity along with the discipline of your craft. And go and create something wonderful.

    Meanwhile, I’m gonna go ride my horse.

  • Best Book in November – RTW

    It’s the last Wednesday in November and YA Highway’s Road Trip Wednesday asks, What’s the best book you read in November?

    I have been reading Old School for all of November, and part of October as well, reading paper books rather than using my Kindle. In October, I bought a whole pile of books by one of my fave science fiction/fantasy authors, Lois McMaster Bujold, from one of our local UBSs (Used Book Store). I’ve been making my way through those books ever since.

    A side note: I do love finding books I want to read in USBs. I like the idea of supporting a local business. But I feel a little guilty when I do that because I know the author doesn’t get her share when I buy her book used. Not to say you should never buy books used. Just be aware of that fact when you do.

    So, among my LMB purchases was a three-fer titled Miles, Mutants & Microbes. LMB has published so many books in the Miles Vorkosigan universe that her publisher has gone back and repackaged a number of them together in various volumes. Miles, Mutants & Microbes includes the novels Falling Free and Diplomatic Immunity sandwiching the novella Labyrinth.

    Of the three, Falling Free was definitely my November best book. Falling Free takes place a couple hundred years before the birth of Miles Vorkosigan, the featured player in most of the Vorkosigan Saga books. In Falling Free, we’re introduced to the quaddies, genetically engineered humans designed to live in freefall. Their bodies thrive without gravity (where normal humans would lose muscle mass and therefore bone density). And they’re able to navigate a living environment in freefall because in place of legs, they have an extra pair of arms. Hence the quaddie designation.

    It’s a very cool story with a triumphant ending. Reading LMB’s later books that feature quaddie characters is all the more fun because we know their origin story.

    If you haven’t checked out any of Lois McMaster Bujold’s books, I highly recommend her. She writes both excellent science fiction and fantasy. And I’m quite thrilled that she will be the Guest of Honor at BayCon in San Francisco, which I will be attending in May.

    So how about you? What have you been reading this month?

  • RTW – Looking Into My Writer’s Crystal Ball

    This week, YA Highway’s Road Trip Wednesday asks the question, What do you hope to be writing in one year? Three? Five?

    I’ve always hated goal-setting. Other than the goal that in three years, or five, I want to be rich and famous. Bestselling books, accolades aplenty, twin Cadillacs in the driveway (actually, in my case, it would probably be a couple of Teslas–gotta be green, ya know).

    But that’s just pie-in-the-sky fantasizing, not goal-setting. If you’d asked me five years ago where I wanted to be right now, what I thought I would be writing, I seriously doubt that I would have said, “Just finishing book 2 and about to start book 3 of a young adult science fiction trilogy.” Five years ago, I was still writing romances for Harlequin. Tankborn, its follow-on, Awakening, and the final book, Revolution, were not even a glimmer in my eye.

    But let me try to answer the question anyway, despite my goals-averse ways. One year out is a bit of a cheat, because there is something in the works already, something I can’t talk about yet. In a year, I will have finished a re-write on Secret Book #1 and should be working on writing Secret Book #2.

    In three years, I would like to be working on another YA series. Very likely in the speculative fiction arena (fantasy, paranormal, SF). It’s also possible I will be working on future Secret Books. Because all three books of the Tankborn trilogy will have been published in three years, my dream is that we will be working on the first of the Tankborn movies (hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?).

    In five years, I would be finishing up that Other YA Trilogy, possibly writing more Secret Books, and likely starting another YA series. Or maybe I’m working with an artist on Tankborn graphic novels. I think the Tankborn trilogy would lend itself very well to the graphic novel format. Maybe instead of Teslas, there are a pair of nice, new Priuses in the driveway. And schools are clamoring to hear me speak. My book signings are mob scenes. The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators is begging me to give a keynote at their summer conference. 🙂

    Okay, so it’s not all completely realistic. I don’t have quite as much control over the rich and famous part as I’d like. But I can keep writing the books I like to write and make my own future to a certain extent.

    How about you? What is your crystal ball saying to you?